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Christian Union: The Magazine
February 21, 2022

Esau McCaulley Opines About a True, Biblical Union

In the past fifty years, marriage has become less popular, divorce rates have gone up, and the rise of no-fault divorce laws have introduced an era of the contractual—not covenantal—marriage. What happened to marriage? Is it that our modern sensibilities have finally realized that being joined to one other person for all of life is an unreasonable and impractical idea? Or perhaps, as Esau McCaulley posits in the New York Times, our views of work and personal ambitions have become more important than stable, sacrificial relationships.

the bride and groom hold hands

In his recent article, McCaulley states: “Many believe that the purpose of marriage is self-actualization. We find the partner who will come alongside us and help us become what we have always dreamed we would be. Conversely, we may think that a potential spouse who would get in the way of our dreams is the wrong person for us."

"What if marriage is meant to be something else?”

McCaulley points to the focus on individualism and the selfish pursuit of passions and dreams as the great enemies of marriage today. When we want our spouse to cater completely to our goals for our lives, we fail to understand that they too are a person with dreams and passions they want to pursue. These competing dreams become the drama in which marriages disintegrate—if no one is willing to sacrifice for the other, no relationship can last. 

But McCaulley shares the journey of his own marriage—of a Christian man being willing to put aside his career for a time so that his wife could pursue hers. A marriage in which each person reaching their professional peak is not the goal, rather self-sacrificial love is. This is what biblical marriage is about and in a covenant between two people who are willing to give themselves up for the other, beautiful things happen. 

Christian Union is committed to teaching the biblical view of marriage and helping college students and professionals understand what covenantal relationships are. In a world that is governed by contracts, steadfast, self-sacrificial commitment is rare; it is also godly. 

Read the full article here.